XXX Teens
Posted on Tuesday, October 22, 2013 by
I recently read an article by British author, Martin Daubney, the ex-editor of a British "girlie magazine." The article, entitled "Experiment that convinced me online porn is the most pernicious threat facing children today (linked here), detailed the results of his interviews with teens and pre-teens. Mr Daubney was preparing for a television special on teens and porn and what he learned, in his words, "changed my opinion of pornography forever."
To sum up the article (and I recommend you read it, but not if you're squeamish), we have raised and are raising a generation who have had their attitudes, opinions and thinking about sex defined by on-line porn. I don't need to tell you that this is catastrophic.
The ubiquitous availability of hard core porn of every perversion has become a staple of kids' internet diet. This is not your son hiding a Playboy under the mattress. This is an epidemic in teens, pre-teens and adults, both male and female. I know far too many Christian adults whose marriages and lives have been destroyed by pornography.
Unfortunately, we are dealing with the destruction of porn in kids' lives more and more in our ministry.
If you're a parent of teens and pre-teens who have access to the internet via a computer, tablet, smartphone or any of the current gaming systems, or your kid's have friends who have access to those, let me urge you to take immediate action:
1. Pray for you kids protection from exposure to pornography. Just as you pray for their protection from physical accidents, ask God to keep them safe from porn.
2. Talk to your kids about pornography. I know that is almost as hard as having the sex talk, but it is critical. You may find that by the time you have the sex talk, your kids have already learned all about it from on-line porn. By the way, this should be an ongoing conversation, not a one time talk. Unless your kids are very young, they likely have been exposed already. That is not to say that they went looking for it. They may have innocently stumbled upon something (even on Facebook or YouTube), but the longer you wait, the more potential for damage there is.
3. Control what your kids can access on line. This is critical! There are many good porn filter and/or web tracking programs available for your computer. A Google search will turn up dozens. Be careful though, it will also turn up fakes that may cause more harm than good. There are also apps available for iOS, Android and other smartphones and tablets. Again, be careful. Read reviews from trusted sources before you install anything.
4. "Trust but verify." Ronald Reagan made that phrase famous during the cold war, and it applies here too. I've got news for you. Your kids are smarter than you are when it comes to technology. They are the first generation to grow up in the digital world. My 3 year old grandson works an iPad like he invented the thing. No software or app is foolproof. You cannot monitor what your kids are doing 100% of the time (although it seems with recent revelations about the NSA, that time is not far off). So, you need to spotcheck their technology habits from time to time. You can decide whether or not you want to let them know that you will be doing those checks, but you must do them. The moment you find something that concerns you, you're back to number 1.
5. Get help. If you find yourself over your head technologically, get help. Talk to friends. Everyone knows at least one computer geek. If you find that your kids are already to a point of needing help, please act quickly. More and more counseling agencies have specialists who are equipped to deal with this issue. If you need a good recommendation, please contact me. I would be happy to point you in the right direction.
Finally, let me urge you to ban this phrase from your thinking: "It won't happen to my kid." Your kids are not safe, and they're not immune. It's your job to help them avoid the dangers of pornography. No one else will.